After the night of the party, I went back to trying to resume my own life but it wasn't that easy. I kept on wondering what I felt after that kiss, and why I felt it. I knew that I loved Sam, that I was in love with Sam, and wanted to be with Sam. I shrugged it off and tried to believe that it was just my flirtatious personality, and my love for exploring the unknown. But I still wanted to get to know her, she was just so fascinating to me and I had this feeling that there was something there to be found, something about her that I was supposed to find out about.
A week or two after the party, Sam and her family went on vacation for the weekend. I was going to miss her of course but I figured this gave me time to spend time with my friends. Liz, of course, was one of the first people to come to mind. While pondering what we were going to do, Sara came into conversation and we decided to invite her along.
God only knows what can happen in the matter of three days.
The weekend started off innocently enough; Liz, Sara, and I were going to have a great time and just fuck around and have fun. Of course there was still this constant temptation to stir up the feelings that were discovered the night of that party, but I missed Sam, and I kept that in my mind for as long as I could.
Friday night we ended up meeting up with some of my other friends. We decided to go to near-by Lake Congamond, so we would at least have somewhere to hang around and do nothing. Liz, Sara, and I went in a separate car and decided to meet them there. On the drive there we were all just joking around, and talking about random shit. One of the discussions that came up was a discussion about our favorite type of disgusting YouTube videos. Liz talked about compound fractures and Sara mentioned the videos where people have these ridiculous boils or growths and they pop them, one of my favorites of course. Of course I had to mention my all time favorites, bot fly extraction. Most people aren't aware of what a bot fly is, let alone what it does when it lays eggs insides someone's skin. As Liz asked "What's that?", Sara went "Oh. My. God." I should have known it was the end from there.
We got to Lake Congamond and continued our ridiculous conversations from there. You know those moments in the movies where there's a group of people talking but your brain tunes out everyone except one person that you're really fixated on? Yeah, it was sort of like that. I kept on repeating to myself that whatever this is, it will pass. That I couldn't do this to Sam again, I've put her through enough. I kept struggling, but I was determined I'd make it through.
After awhile, we got sick of Lake Congamond and we all decided to head back to my friend's house. When we got there, it all started out innocently enough. We were all just joking and laughing and having a great time. Then, the worst conversation came up into topic; sex. My vice, my weakness, my kryptonite. We started talking about our fetishes and other things and one of my friends, Pete, said that he was turned on by squirters. (For all of you that don't know what a squirter is, look it up.) I hear giggling from the background, I look and before I could even predict it, Sara blurts out "Well, that's funny. I'm one." "FFFFUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!", I scream out. Everybody in the room starts cracking up. For people that know me, one of my life long goals was to sleep with a squirter. Also, everybody in that room could feel the sexual tension and frustration between me and Sara all night long. "Oh God." I heard Kym say, she was right. Oh God indeed. The talk continued, I found out Sara is a masochist, I'm a sadist. She was the M to my S. But I kept on trying to ignore my growing feelings of lust and tried to suppress the butterflies from flying straight out of my mouth.
We all noticed it was close to 5 am and we decided to go our seperate ways for the night. Liz and Sara came back to my house with me, they were going to spend the night since it was so late and I didn't want Sara driving around with no sleep. We get back to my place and Sara announces that she thinks it's a good idea if she heads back home. "Why?", I asked. "I have work tomorrow and I just need to get home." I knew it was bullshit.
"Well I at least insist on walking you to your car."
"No, that's okay. Stay here."
Hmmmm...
"No seriously, I'm walking you to your car regardless."
She admitted defeat and let me walk her to her car. I walked outside with her and I told her that I had a great time with her and Liz tonight. "I have a crush on you." Time. Fucking. Froze. "....Excuse me?" "I didn't want to tell you, that's why I didn't want you walking me to the car. You have a girlfriend, I'm really sorry. Forget this ever happened. I feel better just telling you and never mentioning it ever again." I didn't know what to say, my mind was on speed and nothing made sense, but did at the same time. So I did what I do best, "Well I can't blame you. A lot of people have a thing for me. You're just one of the many." She smiled, giggled, and looked away. (Who ever knew that three of the most simplest actions would be so adorable?) "If you have a crush on me, it won't stop me from being your friend." I didn't want to lose her. If I was single at that exact moment, I would have bent her over the hood of that car and fucked her underneath the rising sun for my entire neighborhood to see. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. She smiled and said "Thanks. I'll see you soon. And remember, forget this ever happened." I agreed, I hugged her and sent her on her way. I accomplished something that night. I stared temptation down in the face and I said "FUCK YOU I WIN."
Or so I thought.
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